Asian Roots

As many of y'all know I LOVE K-Pop. I started liking K-Pop when I was in 8th grade; by this time I'd lived in China for a year (3 in total) and I'd heard a lot of K-Pop, J-Pop, and Chinese Pop. I always thought it was annoying, crap music, but then I became OBSESSED for about a year. Of course, I stilled loved my rap music, but I listened to mostly K-Pop. This fizzled for a while during my freshman year and then every so often I would listen to only K-Pop. I call these phases my, "extremely Asian phases." Typically, during these phases I listen to only Asian music and watch only Asian movies/tv shows.

Right now I'm going through the whole only Asian thing. I started listening to BigBang (My fav K-Pop group) on Spotify and got to thinking, "If I hadn't been in China, would I have ever found K-Pop and my love for it?" I'm not sure... I mean I would have known it's out there, but would I listen to it as much as I do?? 

I've noticed that a lot of other adoptees listen to K-Pop. This lead me to think that maybe it is because of our Asian roots. We don't have a way to completely learn about our motherlands or culture, so we listen to K-Pop as a way to connect. I started pondering this and I realized that I probably wouldn't have liked K-Pop if we hadn't gone to China because when I was a kid I wanted nothing to do with my Asianness. I wanted to be, "white, like my mom and dad." I literally said that and when people asked where I was from I'd say Texas! This didn't change till we had lived in China. Don't get me wrong, by the time I was 7 I would say I was from China, but I still didn't care about learning about the culture or about any Asian cultures. 

Whatever the reason is, I'm really glad I found K-Pop. It gives me that perfect balance of Chinese-American. Don't get me wrong, I never felt incomplete when I wasn't listening to K-Pop, but it has helped me feel more connected to that Asian side of myself. If y'all want to check out K-Pop, then I would highly recommend listening to Spotify's K-Pop playlists! My favs are BigBang, Aomg, Exo-K, 2PM, and Jay Park. Although, Jay Park is more Korean Rap. What can I say, I love rap music. :D

新年快乐！(Happy Chinese New Year!)

One of my favorite things about being Chinese is their zodiac signs! Okay, that's not true. My favorite thing is that my skin is going to stay smooth forever and I'll always look younger because Chinese skin. Haha! Anyway, Monday, February 8th is Chinese New Year. This year is the year of the monkey! Unfortunately, the year of the tiger won't come back around till 2022. Many of y'all may not believe in zodiac signs and typically I don't, but I do believe in my Chinese zodiac sign! For this post I figured I would tell you a little about my zodiac sign. I was born March 20th, 1998. That means that I am an Earth Tiger! Woohoo! Although, I would have preferred the Water Tiger because water is my favorite element.

Anyway, back to the year of the tiger. I did a little research and I found that many Chinese people avoid having children in the year of the tiger because tiger girls are equivalent with what we would call dragon ladies; they're what I call HBICs! The basic traits of Earth Tigers are that they are responsible, level headed, truth seekers, and reasonable. Earth Tigers are also natural born leaders, honest, and intense. I change my mind, I like being an Earth Tiger! I also learned that Earth Tigers are stubborn and determined. Obviously, that isn't me because I'm not stubborn at all. (It's a good thing it's not cloudy outside or I would have been struck by lightening!)

The two most interesting things I learned from my research is that tigers are considered very lucky. Before mom and dad brought me to the U.S. they were having drinks with their friends and trying to think of a name for me. One of their friends said they should call me Lucky! They ended up with the longest name in the world, Alexandria Mehaffey Kultgen, but that friend of theirs always called me Lucky! It became a nickname and to this day I have a bracelet with the word lucky written on it. The other really interesting thing I learned was that tigers get along best with horses, dragons, and pigs. Mom is the year of the horse. It seems to me that even before we were matched we were supposed to be mother and daughter. It was written in the stars! (That was so cheesy; I'm so sorry. Haha!)

Find out what year you are! Maybe you'll get lucky and this year will be your year!

 http://www.chinahighlights.com/travelguide/chinese-zodiac/

Things I Have Learned In 2015

I recently started to become more involved in the adoptee community; specifically, in the Asian and Chinese adoptee community. I don't know many adoptees, let alone Asian adoptees, soooo I figured it would be cool to connect. In many ways, it has, but it has also taught me about a different side of adoption.

I figured since it's the first day of 2016, I would share 5 things that I learned from my fellow adoptees.

1. Not every adoptee is well adjusted.
This probably sounds like a slam, but it really isn't. I know 8 adoptees and only 1 of them is Asian (Hey, Joe!). Out of all of those adoptees, they are all very well adjusted, at least I think they are. They don't seem to harbor any resentment towards their biological parents and they seem to completely think of their adoptive parents as their "real" parents. You can imagine my surprise when I started to get involved in the adoptee community and many adoptees would bitch (sorry, not sorry for cussing) about how they didn't know their biological families. I was stunned and frankly, it annoyed me, but I will get into that in another post.
2. The majority are actively or seek to search for their biological families.
I was surprised by the number of adoptees searching. I figured it would be some, but not the majority. I have never felt the need to find my biological family, but I do enjoy hearing the stories from the adoptees who have found them. I have written about the positive and negative scenarios I have played out in my mind and at this time, I don't think the positives out weigh the negatives. I have no intention of finding my birth family, maybe one day I will, but for now I don't need or want to.
3. They have a gap where their biological family is.
This was one discovery that baffled me. A gap? How can their be a gap? I have no gap. I have never felt abandoned, except for that time that my dad accidentally left me in the car. :D I'm still learning about the gap and I'm sure when I fully understand or at least understand more, then I will write a post about it.
4. They were PISSED about the one child policy change.
I wrote about the one child policy change and my feelings are still the same. I will forever love the one child policy because I have been given so much because of my adoption. I have the best parents in the world because of my adoption. Sure, I don't know if I have my birth mother's eyes, but I do know I get my love for travel and my love for stating my mind from my mom. Who cares if the one child policy is now gone? All it says to me is that now millions of Chinese baby girls aren't going to receive the same opportunities as my generation.
5. The majority have the same questions as I do.
"Why was I given up for adoption?"
"Who do I get my different features from?"
"Do I have any siblings?"
"HEY! Is that Asian person, who looks a little like me, related to me?!

While I am very different from the majority of the adoptees I have connected with, I still like getting to know them. We may disagree on certain topics regarding adoption, but we're still a community. In the coming posts, I may sound a bit harsh about the adoptees I disagree with, but know that even when we disagree,  I still like hearing their different opinions.