I recently started to become more involved in the adoptee community; specifically, in the Asian and Chinese adoptee community. I don't know many adoptees, let alone Asian adoptees, soooo I figured it would be cool to connect. In many ways, it has, but it has also taught me about a different side of adoption.
I figured since it's the first day of 2016, I would share 5 things that I learned from my fellow adoptees.
1. Not every adoptee is well adjusted.
This probably sounds like a slam, but it really isn't. I know 8 adoptees and only 1 of them is Asian (Hey, Joe!). Out of all of those adoptees, they are all very well adjusted, at least I think they are. They don't seem to harbor any resentment towards their biological parents and they seem to completely think of their adoptive parents as their "real" parents. You can imagine my surprise when I started to get involved in the adoptee community and many adoptees would bitch (sorry, not sorry for cussing) about how they didn't know their biological families. I was stunned and frankly, it annoyed me, but I will get into that in another post.
2. The majority are actively or seek to search for their biological families.
I was surprised by the number of adoptees searching. I figured it would be some, but not the majority. I have never felt the need to find my biological family, but I do enjoy hearing the stories from the adoptees who have found them. I have written about the positive and negative scenarios I have played out in my mind and at this time, I don't think the positives out weigh the negatives. I have no intention of finding my birth family, maybe one day I will, but for now I don't need or want to.
3. They have a gap where their biological family is.
This was one discovery that baffled me. A gap? How can their be a gap? I have no gap. I have never felt abandoned, except for that time that my dad accidentally left me in the car. :D I'm still learning about the gap and I'm sure when I fully understand or at least understand more, then I will write a post about it.
4. They were PISSED about the one child policy change.
I wrote about the one child policy change and my feelings are still the same. I will forever love the one child policy because I have been given so much because of my adoption. I have the best parents in the world because of my adoption. Sure, I don't know if I have my birth mother's eyes, but I do know I get my love for travel and my love for stating my mind from my mom. Who cares if the one child policy is now gone? All it says to me is that now millions of Chinese baby girls aren't going to receive the same opportunities as my generation.
5. The majority have the same questions as I do.
"Why was I given up for adoption?"
"Who do I get my different features from?"
"Do I have any siblings?"
"HEY! Is that Asian person, who looks a little like me, related to me?!
While I am very different from the majority of the adoptees I have connected with, I still like getting to know them. We may disagree on certain topics regarding adoption, but we're still a community. In the coming posts, I may sound a bit harsh about the adoptees I disagree with, but know that even when we disagree, I still like hearing their different opinions.
I figured since it's the first day of 2016, I would share 5 things that I learned from my fellow adoptees.
1. Not every adoptee is well adjusted.
This probably sounds like a slam, but it really isn't. I know 8 adoptees and only 1 of them is Asian (Hey, Joe!). Out of all of those adoptees, they are all very well adjusted, at least I think they are. They don't seem to harbor any resentment towards their biological parents and they seem to completely think of their adoptive parents as their "real" parents. You can imagine my surprise when I started to get involved in the adoptee community and many adoptees would bitch (sorry, not sorry for cussing) about how they didn't know their biological families. I was stunned and frankly, it annoyed me, but I will get into that in another post.
2. The majority are actively or seek to search for their biological families.
I was surprised by the number of adoptees searching. I figured it would be some, but not the majority. I have never felt the need to find my biological family, but I do enjoy hearing the stories from the adoptees who have found them. I have written about the positive and negative scenarios I have played out in my mind and at this time, I don't think the positives out weigh the negatives. I have no intention of finding my birth family, maybe one day I will, but for now I don't need or want to.
3. They have a gap where their biological family is.
This was one discovery that baffled me. A gap? How can their be a gap? I have no gap. I have never felt abandoned, except for that time that my dad accidentally left me in the car. :D I'm still learning about the gap and I'm sure when I fully understand or at least understand more, then I will write a post about it.
4. They were PISSED about the one child policy change.
I wrote about the one child policy change and my feelings are still the same. I will forever love the one child policy because I have been given so much because of my adoption. I have the best parents in the world because of my adoption. Sure, I don't know if I have my birth mother's eyes, but I do know I get my love for travel and my love for stating my mind from my mom. Who cares if the one child policy is now gone? All it says to me is that now millions of Chinese baby girls aren't going to receive the same opportunities as my generation.
5. The majority have the same questions as I do.
"Why was I given up for adoption?"
"Who do I get my different features from?"
"Do I have any siblings?"
"HEY! Is that Asian person, who looks a little like me, related to me?!
While I am very different from the majority of the adoptees I have connected with, I still like getting to know them. We may disagree on certain topics regarding adoption, but we're still a community. In the coming posts, I may sound a bit harsh about the adoptees I disagree with, but know that even when we disagree, I still like hearing their different opinions.
